My Silence is My Attitude..

8th day of fasting.. Anne ingt nk update mlm td ag..tp xde mood lak.. Cz xde rce nk wat karangan.. Kan laz post anne ckp my cik abg lesap da aftr buke kn? I tot die akn cnyap trus...upenye x.. Around 12am gtu he called.. Die ckp batt phne mati.. Owh~~ok... Hm..then he said sumting yg pretty cweet..mean a lot to me.. But u noe abg? Anne btul2 xtau nk rply ape pd ayat2 abg tu sume.. Like ''Thanx..''..?? Dunno if datz enuff.. S u noe me..anne kn ade mcenye  xbyk ckp.. But i really hope that u understand how i wanted u to noe that im really2 do appreciate u in my life ever since u'r in mine.. Abg ckp mgkin abg xckup memahami anne..xckup matang ngn hubungan kite while anne pulak cgt memahami abg n kje abg..matang lam hubungan.. Komen anne utk part anne..tu kan tugas pasangan utk cube memahami n kurgkn beban pasangannye.. N anne cgt x agree bile abg ckp mgkin abg xckup memahami n all that stuffs.. Kite cme2 mematangkn dri melalui hubungan ni utk face through pape pn in every situation.. N..abg cgt memahami anne cbnrnye..u noe?? Hm.... Sumtimes bile dgr abg ckp or nchat pnjg..(i like it u noe..^_~hm..)...anne byk diam..n jwb pndek2 je..(abg cndiri tau kn).. Bukn cbb anne wat x endah..tp..itz like.......itz juz me.. At one point,anne ley jd cgt pendiam..n another point,anne ley jd byk mulut.. ^_~hikhik..tu bile mood nga nk bcakap la..tu yg abg akn dgr mcm2 lak..tp byknye mngarut je kn?heee~ Mm..i juz want u to noe...lau anne diam tu...doesnt mean mmg anne diam..there's another language starts speaking..my silence.. U juz hev to understand my silence..n u'll get wut im trying to do or say.. So...jgn abg bosan ngn anne lak lau anne byk diam.. Cowy la abg dpt gurl cam anne..=) Mm..
I off9 at 2am asenye.. B4 that Mr.FS gtau yg die nk off n settlekn borg ape nta..die ckp nnt mcg la die lau de pape.. So...anne mmg xmcg la cz xde pape kn.. Nga mamai2 gtu..3.30am tkejut anne dpt mcg Mr.FS..wishing me gudnite.. Hikhik.. Then he said thanx for everything.. Errr..o.O??  Thanx utk ape??cyezly im clueless.. Ade aje Mr.FS ni...hehe..
Arini sahur kul 5am..dicbbkn ngs b4 tido..mate bengkak ckit.. Ish~ncb la x obvious time sahur..jd org ingt mate bengkak cz bru angun tido.. Phewwww~~~~~ N at 5.40am my love text..we texted for 15min.. Then i fell asleep..Tcdar kul 10.15am  n ade 2mcg dr cik abg.. 7.25am n 9.50am gtu.. Tu la abg..asal suro hev a gud sleep.. Mmg gud sleep cmpi xcdar.. Hikhik.. Mm..aftr mndikn Pyrate..bg die mkn..(makin gedik lak GP yg sekor ni..=_= ncb la kau ni comel~hee..^_~ <3 ).. Anne pn mule la rutin on9 aftr cdai bju sume..=) Hm..kul 3pm lebih..anne blog walking.. Ckali..nmpk post my gossipmate ni! Wah2...die ade scandal la..mnurut blognye..scandal tu kosm8 die..means...i noe dat guy.. Well..mule la usaha nk cr cpe Mr.S ni.. hikhik.. Yea~bile gurlz da mule sharing ni payah la kan nk bpisah..^_^ Atleast ht ni x kecamuk cgt..
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10.40pm... Ok..td buke kt luar.. 7pm kuar uma..bwk air sume utk buke lam kete.. 1st nk g mam kt restoren Mana Lagi kt Perling..tp..tlupe yg tmpt tu tutup on monday.. So..laz2 mkn kt Kipmart Tampoi.. Then g beli brg dapur ckit.. I juz dun get it.. S u noe..kan tv uma tu da ditukar kpd tv flat screen..tv yg da cdie ade kt uma anne lak,abah jual on9..n..dpt la pelanggan yg dinantikn tu cmlm mlm..(anne da mcuk bilik..xtau la hal kt luar bilik kan..).. Dgn RM400..so..terjual la tv tu kt owner baru.. Farewell~~ Now...g mkn tu..ok la..kate byr kai duit yg dpt dr hasil jualan tv tu.. Tp bru bpe ringgit la cgt.. Tibe mce nk beli brg dapur,sumenye kne kai duit mak! Hey~~~~mne g duit yg rm400 tu?? duit mak dpt dr surau tu yg x seberape nilainye pn tetap nk 'pakuk' cmpi licin ke?? Ley lak die kate xde duit.. C'mon la abah..ape abah buat ngn sume duit abah? Ni lum mcuk tgh bulan pn..tp da sengkek cam org ujung bulan nape?Da abs duit ibu dikikis..duit mak yg x seberape tu pn nk jugak amik? Mak tu balu ok? Pencen ag.. Dasar busuk hati pnye bapak tiri..
U noe wut?? I really do wana show u this middle finger so badly to show u how sick i am wit u.. Go F*CK somewhere else la lau kje tu gasak nk nyusahkn org lain.. Name je bapak..tp hampeh.. AKU DA CUKUP HANGEN DA NI!! ..................................Duit anne yg abah kate PINJAM rm2000 tu mmg xde harapan nk pulangkn nmpknye.. I feel so stupid.. Bodohkan dri...susah2 g interview..arrange time utk YPJ..tp.....sumenye mcm anne buat mnde bodoh sume tu utk dptkn duit bg abah pakai..instead of me... Hey Dear Step Father.. Ibu aku pinjam duit aku pn tau nk pulang..but u.....jus SH*T!!!!!   WHY...???? Cant u understand? Anne stil study.. I need that money for myself kt U n here...lau ibu abah ade ks duit utk kt U tu xpe jugak..ni xde pn.. So pliz..jgn la senang2 amik duit tu.. Now ngn muke xbsalah cam xnk pulang.. No..silap..mmg abah xkn pulang duit anne..tp ibu ngn BODOHnye nk gantikn ngn duit ibu.. Gosh~tau malu la ckit bapak~ Tgk la bini org lain~ masing2 kje but stil laki ade bg duit bulanan..xbyk ckit pn jadi.. But u??what kind of father r u?? Nk kate cacat..xkje.. No..u'r not like that.. Ckup sempurne...ade kje ag.. Tp???? *Speechless* Da ckup cket da ht ni tau?
Xley ke anne x nangis utk 1 hari?? Mungkin kalau anne stop study ag ok agknye? Xya sush2 nk fkir kos hdup kt U.. Duk uma..cari kje.. mungkin duit hasil kje tu pn kau nk kikis cmpi licin..cam kelape parut yg kne parut cmpi tggl tempurung je.. Or....bg je anne mkn pil tido overdose..biarkn tido x angun2 terus.. Ibu ade wat insuran nyawe utk anne kn? Lau anne mati..dpt duit bpe ribu nnt..byk jugak kn? Lau tu sume ley nk senangkn hdup tu!!
Astaghfirullah....im losing my mind now..='( N air mate ni xnk lak stop utk mce ckrg... I really wana say sorry to my VVIP cz i juz cant laugh for u at nite.. I'll cry when im in my room..isolated from d world outside..cz im juz too tired of pretending n faking smiles n laugh during d day.. Sorry that it hppned to b me s ur gurl.. Hm..