55~53::3~3 Means..

15 Aug 2015...so... It's our monthsary of 55~53::3~3.... 55months being friends... 53months couple.. 3months engaged..and another 3months to go for the hitch.. Tgk number2 tu mcm x percaye je kan? Rase mcm baru 2-3bulan lepas menaip kisah si dia berkonvo....dalam sedar x sedar...diri ni sendiri pn da slmt berkonvo n sambung master pulak...bulan Sept nanti masuk sem 3 pulak... SEM 3 OK?! Wow...plus...we're engaged..n kad kahwin tgh proceed utk printing! Allahu...cptnye mase berlalu...^_^ Hmm... 
Btw blog...ingt lg x pasal hadiah bday tu? Got the answer...n it's just like what I've expected...LOL...frustrated? A bit.... N i dunno how to respond nor what to say.. (*giggles).. Oh well.. I am thankful with what i have right now... It is more than enough.. =)

Dilemma 2015 =_=

3months to go….

As the preparation is ongoing… I find myself in a complete misery of dilemma issue.. Trying my best to find the strength I needed to confront my mom. About……’the wali’… Yes…susah jadi perempuan ni bile nak kahwin, kene ade wali.. Kene pulak bile wali ni jenis yg ade bad history dgn ibu n family pihak ibu.. Camne nk buat? Sudahnye….awal2 after dirisik.. Ibu warning “Nanti da kahwin, kene ikut ckp suami..sbb syurga tu bawah suami.. So…skrg belum kahwin lg kn? Jadi kene dgr ckp ibu sbb syurga tu bawah tapak kaki ibu.. Jadi….kahwin nanti xpayah panggil papa. Pakai wali hakim je. Ibu x nak die ade kat mane2 majlis pun..”…. Terdiam kite dibuatnye.. Hukum mane ibu pakai ni.. Jahat mcm mne pn…die tetap wali sah. Hurmm…mmg kalau ikut kate hati..kite akan marah dgn org yg bergelar ‘papa’ ni.. Rase mcm terbuang dibuatnye… Rase mcm x adil dilayan mcm ni.. Tp………deep inside of me… I wished for him to be there on my birthday..or if he cant…I need him only once..just one more time..that’s for my solemnization. Atleast, if the day after I’m forbidden to meet him ever.. I stil can save his face n look in my memory.. He’s the guy that made me.. No matter how bad n cruel he was before.. That’s the guy that I wana thank for.. If he’s not there from the very first place, there will be no me..n if it wasn’t because of him, there’s no chance for me to have this wonderful life.. With these loving people around me.. Ibu…my supercalifragilisticexpialidocious family.. and my dear future husband that I love with all of my heart.. So.. I really wana thank you papa.. Hmm…back to my problem.. Ok..tu time risik die da warning cmtu.. Now its time for me utk buat kad kahwin pulak.. Name pn disuro ubah..=_= Why should i… I really hate it.. *tahap rase nk mmberontak pulak da*.. Asyik nk fikir pihak ibu.. Then pihak kite ni?? Baru nak ajak ibu bincang pasal kad..die da emo terus xnak ckp pape… Habis tu mcm mne nk ajak bincang pasal wali??

Seriously my heart is already crying… Hmm…

15 May 2015.. I'm Engaged! (for real)

Dear blog...your owner da engaged n now counting days for the big day! Yup..solemnization.. Orite.. The chronology..

27 Feb 15... On this very fine day...im so nervous sbb mlm ni si dia n parents nak dtg rumah..nk bincang hal pertunangan..sekaligus dtg merisik... Kalau risik biase2 xpe jugak..ni nk sarung cincin pulak..ommo! Nervous x hengat.. Plan asal nye mmg diri ni xnak cincin rising pun..cukup la cincin tunang n cincin nikah.. Tp si dia kate ibunye yg blanje n nk jgk bg cincin.. I cant say no right? Xpe la..anggap je hadiah dari ibu mertua.. Yeay! Tambah ibu! hihi ^_^ Ok..hari kejadian ni... Disebabkan pihak dia nk dtg mlm..mule la pening pale nk bg mkn ape.. last2 buat triffle...for the meal..i couldnt remember la pulak.. Haih~ Nevermind.. XD So...bile da dtg tu...mule la tugas as gadis dalam rumah...ready dishes..tuang air.. Tradisi kot..adat la katenye..bukan smate2 nk tunjuk skill rumah tangga kt bakal ibu mertua ok..tp ni la tugas gadis.. Haha....kekok sungguh rase.. Sambil bincang2..mkn n minum.. Last sarung cincin.. Ngeeheee~ awkward level 1001! Tp alhamdulillah...selesai sudah step 1... Tarikh yg ditetapkn utk E-day...15 May 2015..

So....persiapan dlm mse kurang 3 bulan... sebenarnye kalau ikut angan2 3 tahun lepas...15May15 adalah tarikh nikah...tp ape boleh buat.. impian org lain2..camne rancang pn..kalau bukan jodoh time tu..xkan dpt jgk.. Nk blame pasangan pn xboleh jgk..ade hikmahnye mungkin. Tp terkilan 1 bende... GST!!! =_=" *mule la rase nak menyumpah..**   Awak~~kalau awak x leka dulu..awak x abaikan nasihat sy..awak tunaikan janji 15may tu.. bahagie kite xya hadap GST.. T_T Bile da ad GST mcm skrg... Alahai~ mmg over bajet..xley nk buat ape.. TAPI... Alhamdulillah...benar kate org.. kalau niat kite ikhlas..n kite sandarkan kepadaNYA... InsyaAllah.. ALLAH bantu.. Nak tunang ni..baju ade org sponsor...persiapan2 lain pn ade org sponsor jgk.. Cume hantaran je completely 100% me.. Disebabkan hantaran buat n gubah sendiri..kene beli bahan2 jugak.. Siape kate org yg sponsor hantaran x menyumbang  bnyk?? Hello~~banyak ok.... nasib baik la dulang 3 balas 5.. ^_^ mmg nk buat kecik n simple je.. So...hari kejadian.....

15 May 15... Tetibe rase mjlis yg dirancang kecik n simple..da jd mcm mjlis nikah la pulak.. Semua lari bajet..yg nk sponsor pn berbunyi2 mcm x puas ht sbb over bajet.. Alahai~ da sendiri memandai nk sponsor..bile lebih bajet nk kite topup? =_= hm...layankan je.. no more bajet-nak-sponsor on my solemnization day..no way.. Oh well...pepagi bangun tolong family setel gubahan.. 10am pihak lelaki sampai.. Me??? 8.30am pun x start mandi n siap lagi.. Mule la meragau.. Mekap sume sendiri buat..baju beli sendiri hasil duit sponsor...heee... Untung jgk join Persadatari time U....bakat solek sendiri tu ade la sikit2 walau x hebat mane... N nasib jgk ibu dulu pn penari..siap join event diraja semua..so..pandai jgk adjust mekap even x la perfect..tp puas hati jgk...^_^ Aied...my BFF ade di sisi..jz like when im there for her. Thank you twin! Aku syg kau sgt2.. Grow old together ok? =) Hmm...pihak laki smpi 10am cmtu..rasenye 10~15min je deorg duduk n bincang..da kne panggil utk sarung cincin.. Wahh..keluar bilik...ramainye manusie..trus level of confident drop teruk..mule da menggigil.. haha..teruk betul la Anne ni...^_~" Pandang lantai je la mampu..bile dgr abg Han(jd photographer) n Ewan (my lil bro in-law-to-be) panggil....kne la pandang camera... Then ibu die sarung cincin...Lg la malu double triple sbb all eyes on us..huwaaa...cam nk cabut lari pn ade.. Tp xpe..masih waras...maintain stay.. nsb x lame...trus layan tetamu makan2..amek2 gambar...by 12pm pihak lelaki balik..nk g semayang Jumaat lak... Alhamdulillah...mcm x pcaye cincin da tersarung di jari manis.. Kene lebih behave la lps ni.. I'm officially his fiancee... lepas 4thn kawan....3thn asyik melamar.. akhirnye... 2nd step done... Now we have 6 months for preparation utk wedding.. Oh my.. ^_^

Self Disappointment & Self Healing

Hye dear blog…it’s been quite some time since last I typed here. Setahun lebih mungkin..hahahaha ^_^ Hmm..proses recovering yg agak lame sebenarnye sjak my last post tu..hihi.. Tapi skrg da stabil da.. cume rajuk kalini rase mcm ridiculous.. Bru skrg rase nk share.. Oh well..ape boleh buat.. It is my purpose of having you…to let everything out whenever I can’t share it to any normal human being..or living animals.. Ok… let’s start..

I’m having quite bad insomnia everytime im in the peak of the month.. And when that happened, there’s a lot of things running through my mind.. even the simplest thing like….why my parents used my car everyday..n dad always left the tank with 100km most.. And recently…there’s ridiculous thing keep popping in my head… It started with…when my parent said something to my lil sis..”bday nanti mntk abg belikan hadiah ni”…”bday nnt mntk abg bg tu”….i knew they were just bluffing but…..those jokes got me…way so deep… And I went “huh~bday adik? Even my own bday pn xde dpt ape..sape la kite ni”… Simple right?? Tapi da cukup buat ht ni merajuk tiap malam ever since. So…tiap mlm la memujuk ht sndiri.. Haih la Anne..knape perlu rase cmtu? (I myself don’t know)…. Bile mcm tu..mule la melarat… Flashing back things that aren’t supposed to be remembered. Like on my bday itself.. knape awak buat mcm tu..mungkir janji..bkn sng2 nk tunggu haritu muncul..it took 365 days.. Syukur la panjang umur utk merase lg skali walaupun umur makin meningkat saban tahun… Ok la..xpe la..da get rid of that pn.. The prob is when awak kate ade hadiah utk sy..awal bulan June tau awak gtau mende tu. Yg pd awalnye sy da x kisah lgsg pd hadiah sbb mrajuk ngn awak…tp bile awak kate cmtu..ttbe mood on! Tapi kan..tu June..now da August…awk nk peram hadiah sy sampai bile? Sjak my parents gurau ngn adik ngn ayt2 tu sy da start sentap.. TAPI….hati rase tersentap teruk tahap berguling2 tu bile ttbe ibu tnye “ibu lupe tanye awak…aritu bday dpt ape?”… ah sudah~ (tutup telinge..buat2 x dengar..lari buat keje lain…pheww~ escaped!)…Walaupun da escape..tp hati yg berguling td tu jd ape? Haaa~ni yg buatkn perasaan makin parah.. Mule tertanye2 sendiri.. Spanjang pekenalan..awak x pernah miss bg hadiah.. TAPI~ (tapi lagi)…knape this time awak buat mcm x penting pulak bile kite da melangkah ke step ke-2?? Nta2 klau ke step akhir lg teruk x?? Oh geez~bile ht tertanye cmtu..mule mate pulak masuk habuk =_=’ Yg hati ni pulak…tolong la jgn sentap lebih boleh x?? Stressing my mind secare x langsung tau x? You guys belong to a system..please work together can you? Orite…after lebih dari 3minggu mengadap n memujuk hati..tetibe arini camne gatal mulut terlepas ckp kt ibu..oops!

Me: Ibu…nk tanye ni~ (da terlepas gini baru tetibe malu gile lak)

Ibu: Ape die?

Me: Err~ x pe la…xjd nk tnye..heee^_^

Ibu: Mane boleh camtu..cpt ckp sebelum ibu romen!

*Ibu mmg cmni tau..haish~ psst~jgn fikir lain lak ngn word ‘romen’ tu ok? Tu maknenye ibu nk lancarkan serangan geletek sampai x cukup nafas..haha..*

Me: Ok2~ Hmm..cmni.. Ermm..cmne klau ibu jd ain? Means mcm ni la..bday kite..org tu buat cmni.. Org xkan kisah kalau die x bg lgsg tahun2 sebelum ni sbb ye la..ape sgt hubungan gitu.. Tp ni da lepas tunang ley lak x bg2.. sampai jd x caye yg die ade bendenye.. Boleh jd xde.. Mmg kite x patut berharap…tp kan ibu..mcm mne la x berharap dr tunang sndiri kn? Jadi~~cmtu la.. Kalau ibu..ibu rase bende yg same atau camne?

Ibu: Hmm..ibu eh? Ibu da rase jgk bende tu..tp kite xley buat ape kn? Go with it je… Hehehe.. *muke ceria habis*.. Dgn papa dlu pun..lgsg ibu x merase…sbb die xkisah ape.. Bile ngn abah…yela..mse kawan2 mmg x pernah miss..bg coklat la..bunge..cincin kecik.. pastu bunge lg..mcm2 bg xpayah tggu bday..tp bile da tunang…hurmmm…haa..time da tunang ttbe je x bg hadiah bday day.. Tp ibu ok je..sbb da biase rase cmtu.. Bile da khwn…2-3 thn ptame mmg ade hadiah la..bunge lg..coklat..pape je la.. tp pstu da start2 miss da.. kdg ade..kdg xde..bile awk makin bsr..baru la start bile bday je mkn bsr sikit.. Cmtu la..

Me: Rse geram jgk la..wedding kwn die..lg 1bulan majlis da plan da nk g ramai2 even jauh pun.. Nanti alasan die “member kahwin skali seumur hidup…bkn slalu”… abis tu..kite ni? Smbut bday as tunangan org pn skali seumur hidup jgk..bukan tiap thn..da berubah status lg..umur 24tahun tu pn dtg skali seumur hidup je…xde ke die nk fkir mcm tu jgk?? Hmm..

Ibu: *gelak sikit* Anak ibu ni mmg cmni kn? Over sgt nk value sesuatu bende..mcm2 tarikh die nk ingt..

Me: Dah tu…nk wt cmne? This is me..its a apecial day..special occasion..msti la nk value n treasure the day to the most..

Ibu: X semua org pandai nk value sesuatu tu mcm care kite.. Most lelaki x kisah sgt pn bende2 cmtu sbb bg deorg kecik je..

Me: Thatz y la slalu je nk merajuk atas bende kecik..deorg x faham the way girls think..

Ibu: Tu namenye lelaki..

Me: Hmm…lelaki mmg cmtu kn? *terus diam pastu n start fikir sendiri*

So….i’ve finally got the answer.. And zaaas! Memang confirm la lelaki mmg cmni.. Before dpt kite..sungguh2 layan kite mcm princess..ayat melting2 aje.. Tp bile da dpt..ke laut semuanye.. bkn semua lelaki of coz… sadisnye knape la kwn2 punye pasangan ‘sweet diabetes’.. Even cikgu matrix n cikgu skolah sendiri pun..lg la.. kalau kwn2 sebaye..x kisah sgt..org kate cinta org muda… tp tgk geng cikgu2 yg pangkat makcik pakcik tu sweet bergule mcm org baru khwn jgk… Aduyai~ knape sweet sgt ni..T_T  Well….sbnrnye mmg amazed dgn deorg.. untungnye dpt layanan yg x pernah kurang drpd belum ade ikatan..smpai da khwn..n sampai da umur anak nk msuk skola menengah pn maintain sweet n dilayan mcm princess n queen.. Allahu..semoga all of them kekal bahagia til Jannah.. I guess my family genes belum muncul species sweet sampai tua cmni… Ade tu ade..my pak ngah…kasar2 die..selalu manjekan mak ngah.. oh comelnye~ ^_^ <3 Next…..my only cousin brother the 2^nd.. Abg n kakak sweet betul.. Untuk diri ni berharap dpt lelaki camtu?? Well…we’ll see.. will I ended up like ibu? Or I will have my own fantasy?? Tgk 10tahun akan dtg ok?! ^_~hehe… To ibu…im amazed..you’re my idol.. Camne ibu boleh maintain cool.. You’ve went through a lot I guess..betul kate org….kalau da biase tu..mmg akan lali.. Well anne, boleh x suro hati tu ketegaq sikit? Jadi ice pn xpe.. Hanye org yg betul2 ikhlas je mampu cairkan ice tu smule nanti.. With that, you’ll be like ibu.. I sure don’t want that kinda guy…but kalau da jodohnye camtu.. mungkin ade kebahagian lain yg menanti J X semua novel jalan ceritanye same.. People says “happy wife, happy life”…I can tell ibu is now happy cz we’re all happy with what we have right now ^_~.. Bahagia masing2..datangnye lain2.. yes that’s right. Love is in the air..

See…how easy for me to let it go once I’m inspired.. Thanks ibu ^_^ Baru harini rase mcm ht tu x kisah da psl hadiah tu..sbb conclusionnye.. Lelaki mostly same je.. Jd….to the girls, hati sentap guling2 pun.. Lain org lain care.. Ade yg kite tgk mcm sweet gile tu..mgkin deorg pn ade mslh sndiri.. It’s like…..hmmm… mcm kalau org biase2 tengok kaum kerabat/kaya/retis… Tp ade yg golongan femes ni kalau boleh nk jd org biase2.. Dunie memasing lain…walaupun semua duk kt planet Bumi.. So…chill! ^_^

******Ape lah yg aku mengarut sesorang ni? =_=************