Beginning of My Senior Year..

7Sept12...11pm btolak ke Tganu..tp before that,kul 5lbh ptg da kuar da ngn abh.. Ttbe abah bwk g mkn pizza ngn adik kt Angsana.. Then from there Bubu fetch me... Tman die mkn dlu..then gerak ke tmpt yg lain.. Jz spending time with him ngn rce cdey n berat ht nk tgglkn uma.. 10pm alek uma.. 11pm gerak ke uma nenek..amik atok n nenek.. (cz ibu ke KL..cgt x besh..=/ mm..)..Then bru gerak ke Ganu.. 
8Sep12..By 7am da cmpi kt Masjid Crytal.. Then g sarap.. N terus ke UMT.. Bru kul 10am time tu..dgr kate listname asrama kuar kul 11am..clagi x kuar list tu,xtau bilik ktne.. Laz2 12.30pm bru kuar listnye.. Aftr setel angkut brg,kuar g giant lak..Nad ikut ckali.. Then bru abh anta alek UMT cmule.. Only HE knows how i felt at that moment.. Mm..kalini anne dpt bilik B2-211-5... Ok..bilik 5 anne kurg cke..anne cke bilik 1 gak..bhgie cz bsr.. Anne pnye excited nk cite kt org yg anne dpt bilik yg xbpe nk best tu,anne ley g call mak lak.. bile tsdar yg mak da xde,cdey la jdnye..laz2 ngs ngn ibu.. Mm..i wish u stil here mom..='(
9Sept-23Sept12... Pnye la lme nk update blog ni.. Mm... Bru 2hr nek sem bru,anne di-offer kje part time 1bln kt BookGarden.. Alhmdulillah la..atleast ngn kje tu anne xla asyik tringt kt mak n ngs2.. Itz fun..i love book store.. Utk 2 mggu yg ptame,xde la trce cgt wktu clsnye cz lect asyik xde.. Pstu yg peliknye kalini rmai lak yg tgur ckp nmpk da kurus la..susut la...cengkung la..(yg ni mmg xley blahh=_= hyperbola ke ape??)... Pdhl anne rce biace je.. pp i stil chubby ok? =P.. Hmm... so far sumenye ok je.. Tp yg azabnye time nk kne present LI tu la..21sept.. Hmpir bengong dibuatnye.. Ncb baik la presentation ok.. Yg x expect tu bile lecturer ckp ''Aqilla..ur presentation was excellent! u can get a very high marks for this u know? Tp ur focus tlalu byk dkat ur mini projek..n not d whole LI.. if this is about FYP,u mark will b very high..ur presentation was well done..''. Laz2 anne duk dgr advise lecturer tu je.. pdhl tu sesi Q&A..tp deorg xpulak questionate pape.. Hee.. Alhmdulillah..tu da setel..now nk kne fokus kt proposal FYP lak.. Huu..>_<
Well anne cube jalani hari2 mendatang cam biace..even tiap mlm b4 tido n tiap pagi bile solat subuh,ht ni sentiase sebak cz tringat kt mak.. Cmpi arini anne rce cam xcaye yg mak da xde..a part of me cam mengharap yg mak stil ade whenever i watch her phone number in my saved contact. Itz not that anne x terima tkdir n hakikat yg mak da xde..or x redha ngn pemergian die.. itz not like that at all.. Nk trangkn pn anne xtau nk ckp cane... Anne terime yg mak da pn pergi utk slamenye.. tp anne jz xcye yg mak da xde lg utk guide anne.. I always dream of heving her staying wit me bile da khwn t..jd nenek pd anak2 yg bakal lahir (lau ade rezeki)..but mak pergi tlalu awl.. Psni anne xtau la cane bile nk memasak.. Bile masuk dapur pn makin cdey jdnye.. Tiap kali nk msk msti ingt mak.. Bile nk msk,mak la jd buku resepi bgerak anne.. Anne lum abis nuntut ilmu ngn mak ag.. Tp pe ley wat..lau da tu tkdirNYA.. Miss u mak.. Al-Fatihah..
YA ALLAH..kuatkanlah hati hambaMU yg lmah ni..biarpn tiada org di sisiku setiap mase,ku tahu ku ada Mu Ya Rabb..yg xpernah meninggalkn ku walau sesaat..
24Sept12...diz week da nk mule trial FYP..nk culture 'babies' byk2.. Hope sumenye ok.. Amin....

My Life is Changing...

5Sept12(Wednesday).....Laz nite was hard for me.. Bile ingt mak..air mate mule bjurai.. N mlm cmlm agk sush bg anne utk tido.. Dr org yg cke tido lam gelap..anne jd takut bile bergelap.. Hati jd bdebar x mnentu..jd resah...takut cndiri.. Bile da bukak lmpu,tnang ckit.. tp bile nk kuar g toilet yg kt cblh bilik pn,jd pnakut.. Then anne cube cari kwn utk tman anne...Amir Hakim  jd pneman..tp tu pn utk 1jam je..die pn ttido.. Itz omost 2am.. I tried to sleep...but cudnt..da mcm2 ayat yg anne tau anne bce..tp rce takut x ilang..then bile nk tlelap je,rce katil bgegar cam ade org naik..mne x tkejut anne..rce cam nk lari g bilik ibu..tp anne kuatkn cmngt..truskn mmbce n ignore je prcaan takut tu.. Laz2 hmpir kul 3am bru ttido.. Wut a nite..
Angun pagi kul 9.30am..anne cube utk tido cmule..but..bile tringat yg mak da xde..anne rce cgt cdey..rce cam cgt x caye ngn ape yg blaku cmlm..rce cam mmpi je.. No more rutin naik turun HSI... Ya Allah...anne rce cam lum cdie utk sume ni..byk yg anne lum abs nuntut ngn mak.. Mcm2 lauk anne x abs blaja ag ngn mak..kuih n kek pn bru half way.. Hutang ngn mak pn anne xbyr ag kt mak.. Mak la ni yg suro anne beli je dlu hadiah utk Bubu..mak suro kai duit mak dlu..kaler hadiah tu pn mak yg pilih.. Hope he'll like it.. Mm..ibu cuti arini..so..bile berteman..anne xla ngs..bile tgk mate ibu..nmpk cgt die tahan diri dr mnangis.. Bile tgk ibu cmtu..anne cube kuatkn diri gak utk x nangis dpn ibu.. It is hard for us..masing2 kne kuat utk each other... Hmm..arini tahlil hari ke-2 wat kt surau mutiara rini..cz ckrg org bz marhaban..lau nk wat kt uma,xrmai org ley join..so..best way deorg suro wat kt surau..masak kt uma..anta kt surau.. Start aftr mgrb..n d guys got back home around 9.++pm... Cmpi je kt uma..deorg sume kebulur..ncb baik mak ngah da wat ns goreng cili padi awl2.. Aftr mkn..deorg sume alek..kul 10pm uma da cnyap da.. Tggl anne,ibu,abah n adik.. Mlmni anne ajk nad tman anne... Nad tman until 3.++am..(6Sept)..so kurg la rce tkut tu...
6Sept12(Thurs)...i woke up at 9.30am..cried a bit n fall asleep..woke up again at 10.20am.. So..angun..mandi.. then cdai kain lak..kain batik lepas yg wat cover jasad mak.. Nk cdai kain tu pn puas anne tahan sebak.. Mcm nk pitam rce cket mnahan rce nk nangis tu..hmm.. Uma jd sunyi bile abah ibu kje..adik lak skola.. Lau bfore diz ade mak..now not anymore.. Bfore diz lau adik alek skola je,msti dgr mak bebel mara adk suro tuka bju..ckrg x lg..xckenye prasaan cmni.. Kul 2pm..ibu btolak ke srawak..kul 3pm adik alek skola.. Kul 6.15pm abah n adik g skola..cz ade solat hajat.. Arini tahlil wat kt surau uma pak andak anne..yg llaki je g..anne tggl uma sorg2.. Bile mkck2 tau anne tggl sorg, mak ngah n mama pn muncul kt uma..tman anne.. Kul 9.35pm abah n adik alek..10pm uma da cnyap.. Tggl anne,adik n abah.. 11pm anne mcuk blik..try utk kmas beg..tp cdeynye bile nk packing.. Im trying to pack..slowly.. Till then..

Tenanglah Mak di Sana..Al-Fatihah..='(

3Sept12...da cmggu..rutin anne..angun pagi basuh bju..sidai bju..lau ibu kate msak,anne masak..lau x,x la..bile kul 4pm je btolak ke HSI...tp utk arini..kul 5pm bru gerak ke HSI.. Tlewat ckit cz ibu byk kje kt ofis.. Cmpi HSI kul 5.30pm.. Ibu n adik trus masuk jmpe mak.. aftr adik kuar,anne lak mcuk...Arini sronok tgk mak.. Mask gas yg bsr tu da tukar ngn tiub yg kcik je.. mak da getting better.. da ley mam mende2 yg soft.. arini die mintak mcm2..tgk adik minum Zapple F&N,die mntk ckit..so..bg la die jamah 50cc... Pstu anne cuap mak jelly.. time ni ibu kuar g solat.. Bual2 ngn mak ckit..suare die xde cgt..so..mcm berbisik..kne dgr btul2.. Mak rcaukn anne nk alek UMT t..
Mak: Balik UMT abah anta?? Sape lg ikut?
Me: Abah je la kot..ngan adik..ibu xde..
Mak: Ckp la ngn bubu..suro ikut tman abah..lau die xde duit ke,xyah bwk kete die..suro die naik satu kete ngn abah ckali tman abah..
Me: Nta la mak..xnk la kcau die..
Mak: Kan jmaat mlm btolak..sbtu tu aftr anta awk,kn abah btolak blk JB cmule..
Me: Mm..tgk la mak..=)
Mak: *smiling*
Pstu ibu mcuk.. Then mak suro anne trun g bli air cincau n mineral yg cjuk.. So i did.. mce anne trun nk beli cincau tu berselisih ngn cik N.. Aftr anne da beli,anne bg mak jamah air cincau 50cc jugak... Pstu cik N mcuk..then haziq came in..so anne kuar utk bg haziq jmpe mak.. Pstu cik N n ibu spend time ngn mak.. Bile cmpi time nk alek..omost 7pm..anne mcuk lam bilik mak..ibu kuar jap..tggl anne n cik N..ckp2 ckit ngn mak..time tu cik N nga cuap ayam yg hsptl bg..sup ayam..tp mak ratah ayam je..ns sume xnk mkn pn..again..mak rcaukn anne...die suro anne bncg ngn Bubu...mak2... Itz 6.55pm..ttbe mak long muncul..mencungap die cz tkut tlewat nk jenguk mak.. hehe.. 7pm..we left d room..mak looks hppy je.. My laz words to her.. ''bye mak..*salam*..esk jmpe ag k? *smiling*''..mak lak mengangguk n cnyum.... So..alek dr HSI stop kt Restoran Yasin utk dinner.. Alek uma around 9.++pm.. Start on9 dkat2 kul 11pm.. Cudnt sleep til 1.30am... 

4Sept2012(Tuesday)...
Tido..anne mmpi yg anne alek UMT..ibu,adik n abah anta...tp mak da xde da lam mmpi tu..i tried to make myself bz wit my snss fmly..bru je duk se-table ttbe tjge dr tido..itz omost 4am..continue back to sleep..n ttbe pntu bilik anne digendang kuat..n i heard that ibu was shouting.. Tkejut anne.. bukak2 pntu tgk ibu ngn muke begkak bru angun tido plus mate merah n jerit ''Ain! Jantung mak bhenti! Hsptl call..cpt!'' I took my watch..itz 4.12am.. So anne ngn mamai2nye g gosok gg n ciap2.. 4.20am we'r out..reached d hsptal at 4.45am..Cmpi kt lobby,Cik Anan call ibu..xtau la ape yg cik ckp..tp ttbe je ibu blari n ckp ''sy ade kt bwh ni..'' ngn nada nk mnangis..anne follow lari gak..bile mcuk lif,ibu mcm teresak nangis..tp xnmpk air mate ag..cume nmpk muke ibu pucat..anne dgr ibu ckp ''mak xde..''tp anne cm xcye.. anne lak da mule nk mnangis.. Cmpi tgkt 7..tgk cik Anan kt luar CCU tutup mate..anne pnye air mate da mule mnitik.. Ikut ibu lari mcuk lam bilik mak...ibu tgk g kt mak anne pgang pale mak..bukak mate mak.. ibu ckp ''akak....kite da dtg ni..akak bngun la ni..tgk..ila da dtg..'' Anne tgk cmtu..makin berjurai air mate..anne pgang tgn mak..lengan mak..normal temperature..itz like mak masih ade..anne tgk mesin die..sumenye straight line..n tgk Dr. cube tnangkn ibu.. byk kali ibu ckp ''da cube ke?? cube la lagi..pliz..cube lagi..'' Muke ibu stil pucat..mate merah ckit..tp ibu cm mnangis x mnangis.. Bile Dr. ckp ''jntung die mule stop kul 3.40am..kami da cube yg tbaik.. maafkn kami kak..sabar ka..bwk btnang..terimalah pmergian die..''.. Terus ibu nangis n hug nurse sblh die.. N then bru ibu hug mak n kiss dahi mak.. Anne lak hnye mampu sebut pkataan ''mak'' n terus nangis.. Anne pgang tgn mak..bru cmlm tgn tu anne salam..anne cium... Ttbe mak ngah mcuk.. Mak ngah nmpk tnang..tp anne tau die tgh nangis... anne beralih ke kaki mak n biar mak ngah lak diri cblh mak.. anne sentuh kaki mak bwh climut.. Kaki mak cjuk..n mule mngeras...tp tgn masih normal temperature.. Then nurse suro kiteorg kuar dlu cz nk tgglkn wayar2 yg ade n jarum kt tgn mak.. Cyezly...anne rce cam sush nk caye yg mak da xde..n xdpt bcme die di saat die hembuskn nfs trakhir..terkilan.. I called him bile dpt mcg dr Bubu when he asked ''hows mak?''.. Bile dgr cuare die..anne trus ngs.. Bile rce agk tnang..bru cube utk bckp n told him wut hppnd.. Bile fmly yg lain mule cmpi..anne ended call n stay wit my fmly.. Sad atmosphere surrounding us.. 6.15am cmpi kt pusat forensik..nk mndikn jenazah kt ctu.. Tp org yg uruskn jnazah tu lbt cmpi..6.45am..called Bubu..he's ready to go to work when he asked do i need him there or he can go to work..at 1st i askede him to go to work..But then ibu n Cik N said ''suro la die amik cuti..phormatan trakhir utk mak..die knal mak..mak pn knal die..''.. So..called him again n asked him to take a leave. N he did.. Kul 7.20am bru mule nk mndikn jnazah.. Anne,ibu,mak ngah n cik N tlg mndikn jnazah mak..1st time anne tlg mndikn jnazah.. Itz so sad whenever i look at her face.. Setel mndikn,kafankn pulak.. Kul 8.15am btolak utk bwk jnazah mak ke rumah..anne n Cik N naik van jnazah..van tu lju gile..=_= Cmpi uma,org da ramai..Bubu pn oredy there..anne trun je dr van,Mak Uteh peluk anne dlu..then jiran anne.. Im crying..they'r crying..everyone's crying.. Baringkn jnazah kt hall..n mule bce yassin.. Tgk si die bcekn yassin utk mak..makin sayu rce.. Anne lak dpt bce 2 round je..cz kne mnymbut ttamu yg dtg.. Kul 11.++am deorg cmygkn jnazah.. 12pm mule bwk jnzh kuar uma..n konvoi rmai2 ke tanah pkuburan kebun teh.. Mmg arwah mak ade tgglkn memo..lau pape jd kt die,die nk kebumi kt cblh arwh hubby die.. So...there...we sent her there.. Mce nk timbus kubur..anne tkejut bile cik Anan n ibu pggil Bubu ''Hafis,cni..'' utk tlg same timbuskn kubur mak.. Nampaknye fmly anne mmg trime si die n jdkn die cam ahli kluarga kiteorg.. Im so glad watching that.. Mm...abg ckp lau kite khwn nk bwk mak tggl cme ngn kite..tp nmpknye x cmpt..='( jz dpt tgk abg tolong timbus kubur mak..sume pkck n adik cdare anne yg llaki bergilir2 take turn utk tolong timbus liang lahad mak..until itz done.. Then tok imam bce talkin..ptngahn talkin,org mule azan zohor lak.. Sumenye setel kul 1.15pm gtu n we headed back home.. Bubu stay with us til abs tahlil knduri arwah (8.++pm).. Anne nk ucapkn trime kasih cgt2 kt abg cz cnggup amik cuti n tolong anne sekeluarga uruskn mak..itz more than enuf..thank u so much..=') Abg cndiri pn ckp yg ibu abg suro abg dtg uma anne..(xpnh jgke cmtu..tharu..) Thanx to ur mum too.. Thanx for considering n concerning.. Pkck mkck yg lain sume btolak alek uma masing2 aftr sume setel..kul 10pm..sume da alek da..tggl Anne..Ibu..Adik n Abah..d atmosphere was so different.. Ape yg blaku arini...rce cam mimpi je..mcm x sgke... 10years ago..lost my late granny yg mnjge anne dr kcik till im 11 yrs old..arwh tok prgi tgglkn anne n mak..now mak lak ikut lgkh atok..n im 21 yrs old.. Due2 yg mnjge..yg anne tido skatil tiap mlm...da xde da.. Bru cmlm dpt gurau2 ngn mak...cuap mak mkn..hppy je mak time kiteorg nk balik kul 7pm tu..tp awl2 pagi ag mak bg 'surprise' kt kiteorg lak ea?? Mm.. Mak la yg paling byk bleter..nk cari gado ngn org ttbe...wat lawak merapu..even nga kt CCU pn pndai nk ajk gurau...but now..mak da tgglkn ain gak.. Tgk kuih rye yg kite wt cme2 pn ain xlalu nk mkn..tp ain cke tgk org lain mkn kuih kite..our laz kuih rye together.. Mak kate nk wat kek lapis cme2...tp nmpknye xcmpt.. Even mak bukanla mak kandung (cbnrnye maklong,ibu pnye kakak)...tp mak la yg ain paling byk abskn mce bbnding ibu cz ibu kje.. Nak gado2 ke..nk majok ke..nk gelak2 ke..ngn mak.. Org knal ain sbg ank mak.. U r my unty.. u r my mom too.. Hmm...it is sad.. But i know that life must go on.. Ain cyg mak cgt2...tenanglah mak di sne.. Al-Fatihah....<3

Hospital Everyday~

28Aug2012-29Aug2012...mak stil cmtu gak..tido..xcdar..cdar juz gerak ckit2.. 30Aug2012...mak da mule cdar.. Tp tgn kanan die kne ikat..cz cubaan utk tarik kuar tiub pnafasan die sndiri..doc kate da half way..so..kne tidokan die cmule n mcukkan cmule tiub.. haih la mak..wat lawak..=_=... Ptgnye time lawak..rite before nk balik,tgn kiri die lak kne ikat..sudahnye due2 tgn kne ikat..mak2~ Mm..arini bday adik..so...g mam kt secret recipe... Anne mam tomyam kung..adik mam lamb shank..=) da 12thn da adik yg sorg ni..

31Aug12...Itz Merdeka! Malaysia da 55thn merdeka..Mm...lme kn? =) Hmm...ptg before ke hspital,g open house uma boss ibu...he's a professor... Rumah die...fuh! Bsr~ade swimming pool ag..die dsign cndiri lak tu.. Interesting.. Uma2 kt kwsn tu sumenye bsr2..kagum tul tgk.. Nta ade rezeki nta x nk duk kt uma bsr cmtu..huhu.. Aftr mkn2 sume,gerak g hsptl.. Mm..mak da xpkai ubat tido ag..so,ley la communicate ngn die ckit2..die spelling ats krtas or tilam die..n kiteorg bce la.. Quite fun..da cam men game teke2 lak.. hihi.. 7pm abs mce mlawat...g lak jjtc ngn mak ngah n cik N utk mkn mlm..
1Sept2012...1 sept da?!! Cptnye mce blalu =/ Hmm...arini mak da dibukak tiubnye.. But stil kne kai mask gas...yg saiz bsr pnye..Tgn mak da x kne ikat da.. Die cube ckp tp xkuar suare pn..jz bce mulut die je...die da mule suro teman die kt hsptl.. tp kt CCU mne ley tman.. Mm..anne ngn bubu lak..mmmm....ade mclh..kcik je.. At nite we solved it..thanx abg..n im sory..mm..
2Sept12..ish....5hari je ag da nk alek ganu..>_< =/ hm..arini kuar ngn bubu.. He fetched me at 11.30am..ibu tumpang til uma mak ngah..then anne kuar ngn die g jjtc..then kul 4.30pm g HSI tgk mak..Alhmdulillah mak getting better.. Waited there til 7pm.. Then kiteorg g tesco tbrau..ibu,abah n adik nk mam.. Pstu kiteorg bpecah..bubu nk g bbu..me n fmly nk alek uma.. Hmm...wonderful day im heving... <3 Well...esk kne ke hsptl ag..rutin harian yg da smggu satu hari..hee.. Til then..

Syawal 1433H/2012M

Syawal...nme pn bulan rye..bz rye ke sane sini.. Mmm^_~ sronok jmpe ngn kazen2 sume.. Yg paling sronok..mce 23Aug2012.. Me n kazen2 lenjan men bowling 5game! haha...mmg btul lepas gian ni.. Lol~ Patutnye arini nk g braye kt uma geng di JB..tp aftr one by one tarik diri..so..cancel terus.. Papepn puas ht ngn bwlg kalini.. Cnfm lenguh bdn esknye..
24Aug2012....arini..bdn da mule rce lenguh ckit..penangan bowling.. Hehe.. 11am si die dtg beraye ngn kawan2 die.. Amin,Laili,Sopi,Reni.. Sumenye pangkat abg kakak except sopi..arini braye ngn si die n kwn2 die.. Juz like laz year..yg ade accidnt tu.. 1st house g raye uma sis Pipah kt tiram.. Makan soto mee hoon soto.. Then gerak ke uma si die.. haa..ni yg paling kecut perut.. Otw ke uma die,cjuk jari2 anne.. ni pn kire bnasib baik gerak ramai2..lau g sorg2~~ish >_< Cmpi kt uma die da kul 1.++pm..kt ctu kumpul ngn Fariz(yg accdnt laz year)..n sis Anis (if not mistaken..laz year die xde).. So...si die, ayh die..Fariz n Amin(yg weng! lol ) g solat jmaat.. Kiteorg yg gurlz..stay kt uma ngn ibu die..ibu die masak ns ngn 3 lauk..n mee kari..mee kari die besh^_~.. Puas la anne kene sakat ngn kakak2 tu..plus..ibu die pn 2x5! Adeyh~ Bile anne nk tolong je kt dapur..kakak2 tu ckp ''ala..bakal tuan rumah jgn cbuk2 ckrg..later2 la..yg ni bg can kt kiteorg dlu..''  Then ade ke ibu die ckp ''ha'ah..bakal tuan rumah xley disuro2 wat kje ckrg..cz nnt..kite buli die cukup2 bile da jd tuan rumah..'' Kakak2 tu pn ckp ''xlme lg makcik!anne~jgn lupe jmput..'' Makcik tu jwb ''btul..xlme lg la tu..x usah lwat2..mnde baik wtpe dilmbtkan kn?'' Terus berderai gelak deorg kt dapur tu.. I was like ''erk! o.O den tkene pulak =_= '' Ngeng gak deorg ni..haha.. Aftr abs setel kt uma die,gerak ke uma cpe nta..Dewi lau x clap.. bsr uma tu..design like mini castle..mkn kuih2.. Then ke uma Amin..mkn kuih2 gak...uma unknown..(yg Fariz je tau) pn mkn kuih gak...laz uma Anis..mkn nasi ayam..xley nk ke uma Laili cz da lwat..anne kne cmpi uma mama by 8pm..cz ade BBQ family gathering.. Cmpi uma mama 8.05pm..tp xde org ag..ibu cmpi 8.15pm..8.30pm bru ade pkck mkck lain yg dtg.. So....dgn adenye pkck mkck anne sume kt uma mama tu,nmpknye si die da pn jmpe ngn sume adik bradik ibu..ALL...but not ALL of my kazens yet...sume pkck mkck ckp muke die cm muke sorg adik cdare anne nme Ijan.. hehe..cmpikan adik cdare anne name Farah ni ley tslh salam..mati2 die ingt si die tu Abg Ijan die..haha.. Alek uma da kul 11pm.. mcm2 mkn..kenyang tul.. Pergh..12jam kuar arini..letih2..da la cmlm anne tido kul 4am..gare2 khusyuk ngadap tali kaler2 utk wat name n keychain tu.. hehe.. 1.30am tido(itz 25aug oredy)..
25Aug2012... 3am mak kjut...suro urut n gosok blkg die cz die cam cket dada n blkg.. 3.30am anne tido cmule...4.15am dikejutkn ag..mak da mule sesak nfs lak.. Ah sudah..jz like laz time..4.30am gerak ke klinik(cz mak dgil xnk ke hspital cz tkut kne mcuk ward)..5.30am alek uma...n mak getting worst..6am gerak ke HSI...6.30am cmpi HSI..6.35am mak mcuk ward kt zone kuning...waiting...n waiting....11.45am bru dianta ke ward sebenar.. Kul 12.30pm gerak alek..jnji aftr asar bru g hspital cmule.. 1.++pm kt uma.. 2.45pm anne nk tido..3.30pm ibu kjut suro ciap2 cz mak suro dg hsptl ckrg gak. Aduy~ pening pale anne bile tido kejap2 cmtu..tingtong x tingtong la.. Cmpi hspital 4.20pm..5.30pm alek uma cmule utk packing bju cz anne kne tman mak kt hspital mlmni.. Cmpi hspital kul 7.++pm.. 7.45pm ibu gerak alek uma..since itz passed visiting time.. Cjak ibu alek..mak x tido lgsg..suro die tido tp die nga x selese cgt agknye..10saat ckali msti die ubah position..jap sandar..jap ngiring.jap paut kt meje..cyezly...10saat ckali.. cmpi anne lak naik stress.. Ragam org sakit...mmg btul2 kene sabar ngn mak mlmni..kite bru duk bersile mak suro wat tu,wat ni..pantang je die nmpk kite bersimpul kaki.. Bile da tlalu letih n nantok..plus xley nk duk ngn slese n xley nk lelap lgsg...anne lak naik cengeng..cmpi ternangis cndiri bile kne cmtu..mne x nye..da letih..nantok..bdn cket cz penangan bowling.. Cmpi ke subuh..sakit mak makin worst..doc da kasi mcm2 ubat..
26Aug2012... Dkat2 kul 7am mak kne pindah ke katil lain..tmpt yg dkat ckit ngn doc.. It was 7.30am bile anne tgk mak cm ley duk relax ckit in one position.. So..nga khusyuk tgk doc2 bertugas..nta camne anne ley terlelap..cdar2 muke mak betul2 dpn muke anne while saying ''ain..ain..tido ea?'' I was like ''o.O err??'' Tgk jam..bru kul 7.38am gtu.. lam 5min la anne tlelap lau cmtu.. Nga pening2 lalat tu mak suro urut die..8am doc dtg ckp mak ade serangan jantung..jntung lemah..paru berair..jangkitan  kuman.. lau aftr bg ubat mak x ok jgak..nk mcukkan tiub n tidokn mak.. Bile dgr cmtu..tkejut anne..never tot cmpi ke thp tu mak pnye sakit.. mnakutkn.. Terus anne mcg mak ngah n ibu.. Yg mak lak da panic..asyik suro anne call mak ngah n ibu every 5min..cz suro deorg cpt2 naik hsptl..haih la mak ni..(mmg mak cke cmni..pdhl mnde tu da cnfirm..tp die ag nk suro cal n tnye... =_=) Mm...9.30am mak ngah n ibu cmpi.. Kul 10.30am si die cmpi.. arini da bjanji ngn my abg(faizal)..yka,hazwan n del nk rye uma deorg... Deorg da msak..jd cm x cdap hati nk tarik diri..rcau tul..yg doc ni pulak satu hal..jap kate nk wat...jap kate later.. 2-3x anne gasak turun naik wad..cmpi la si die cmpi..time tu ibu call abah ckp doc nk proceed mcukkan tiub.. Ingt nk naik tgk..tp xley la.. So trus kuar ngn die.. 1st g amik hazwan..then g uma yka.. Mak die masak nasi n lauk mcm2..cdap2..thnx.. Then ke uma zal.. My abg masak meehoon goreng n ayam goreng sambal+nasi himpit.. Hehe..nice.. Yg anne agk tharu ngn zal ni..bile time die knal2kn kiteorg kt mak die.. die knalkn anne kt mak die as ''Adik''.. ( ^_^thanx abg!) tkjut gak bile die knalkn cmtu..means..msti die cite bout me s adik die kt mak die..=) Mm..after setel uma die..g uma del lak..pn makan ag..nasi..ikan baung goreng..gulai ikan baung n lauk ape nta ag.. (yg penting baung goreng die cdap..)..kt uma del..si die (bubu) n zal da mngntuk..anne pn ngn seronoknye hentam deorg ngn bantal..hahahaha.. Then g uma hazwan lak..makan meehoon soto.. 6.35pm gerak dr uma hazwan ke uma zal..anta my abg yg sorg ni..then anta yka..stop solat mgrb kt uma yka..then gerak ke uma Ayah Uteh anne..my fmly wat bacaan yassin..  On the way back..anne ttido..yg bubu lak upenye da tslh interpret direction yg anne ckp..anne cdar2 kiteorg da cmpi kt tbrau..area jjtc.. Jauh tul lencongannye aduy~ Laz2 9pm bru cmpi uma Ayah Uteh.. Cian si die pn letih.. Mm..kt uma ayh uteh..sumenye ade kcuali mama n Cik Anan.. Wife Pak Andak lum pnh jmpe ngn bubu.. jd..arini die jmpe..n she said "ain..npe muke die cam ijan?mmg cari muke cam ijan ea?"  haha..anne pn x prcn awl2 dlu..bile abs SUKANUN May 2011 bru prcn..tu pn cbb lam 1 pic ni muke die cam muke Ijan+Abg Han(my eldest kazen).. Tp ckrg ni..mmg cyezly..makin jelas anne nmpk yg muke die cam muke adik cdare anne yg nme Ijan tu..like 75%..muke abg Han lak 25%.. hehe..tu yg watkn anne cke tul nk buli die lately ni..tgk die wat muke-malas-nak-layan..muke-aish-budak-ni-memang-nak-kene!..n muke yg lain2 bile org kene buli clalu wat tu..muke die wat anne rce lg nk sakat..hee~ (nakalkn saye?) Mm..10pm alek uma.. mate anne da bengkak da..kul 1am bru tido..
27Aug2012..Itz monday...sume org da start kje.. Anne lak ngn sng ht bantai tido till 11am..haha! Tp tu pn bile angun rce cam ade kt ats boat..mlayang pale.. So..bile da kne sorg2 kt uma..anne wat mcm2 la..kmas uma..bsuh bju..masak.. Kul 2pm ibu call ckp yg doc nk wat CVL..di mne doc akn tebuk sikit utk mcukkn tiub utk kuarkn air dr jntung..since jntung mak da mule ade improvement.. kul 4pm abh amik n grak ke HSI..mcuk tgk mak..macam2 wayar berselirat.. Mmm... Hnye mmpu doa yg tbaik utk mak..6.++pm bgerak ke Restoran Noor kt blkg jj tmn u. Aftr mkn alek uma.. Hmm...ibu n abh da tnye esk anne nk wat menu ape.. Urmmm...now i got it..mmg serabut pale nk fkir menu utk fmly.. ni bru 2 hari bturut.. Lau hari2??? Urm...nmpknye org yg jd suami anne nnt..kne ckp menu siap2 die nk makan ape..bru sng ckit anne nk msk t..hehe..=) Mm...byk kje anne yg tgendala..ngn report LI xsentuh ag.. Aduy...mclhye nga xde idea nk wat bile lam keadaan cmni.. Pape pn..hrpnye mak cpt smbuh.. Anne pn da abs cite.. Pape t lau rjin anne update ag.. Till then..

Unexpected 'Special' Wish on 1st Syawal!!

Itz 19Aug2012..1st Syawal..Itz Eid! N anne dpt 'hadiah terindah' di pagi raye.. Bknnye ade rombongn merisik..meminang or khwn... Nk tau ape die??? Anne dpt mcg raye dr seseorg.. Tnpe org tu,anne xde kt dunie ni..org tu ialah Papa anne! Utk ptame kalinye anne dpt mcg raye dr insan yg bgelar papa...I've been waiting for diz moment for 12 years....every birthday n raya.. Itz finally happened! Tkujat gak anne dpt mcg dr number yg xde lam contact yg mngaku dirinye papa n pggil anne ngn name anne.. ''Assalamualaikum..papa ucapkan salam aidilfitri wat ain n keluarga di johor. Nanti papa bagi duit raya ya. Ni papa kat kelantan. Hujung bulan papa blik jb. Salam papa wat smua. Take cre..''  Haaa....cmtula mcgnye..mne x tkejut anne..da la nga melayan mate time tu.. dkat 10x anne ulang bce mcg tu ngn hrpn bkn mmpi n bkn anne yg mamai.. Mmg btul anne dpt mcg tu for real!! Ngan soalan bendulnye anne ley tnye cmule kt org tu ''Thanx.. Salam aidilfitri jgak.. Hmm..ni papa???'' N dat guy answered ''Ya..papa ni..da lame ain x dtg rumh papa..kt senai tu.. Ain ape kbr? Cuti smpai bile?'' Anne pn jwb la soalan tu...n waiting for his reply..but....cmpi anne ttido..cmpi subuh..cmpi tgh/h..cmpi ptg..mlm....no reply.. Hmm...told ibu bout d mcg...ibu ckp ibu da lme da bg num anne kt papa..tp papa yg xcntact anne.. Hmm............He is my mystery guy...he is my Papa.. Anne xknal die..bce mcg die pn anne cam xde feeling..jz rce tkejut je cz tibe2 die muncul out of no where cmtu.. Slain dari rce tkjut,mmg no feeling..tp yg pelik..why do these tears came out bile anne bce mcg dr die?? xde feeling..tp mate nangis ttbe.. Anne pn naik pelik ngn diri cndiri.. Haha..nta pape... Well...besh jugak rcenye bile papa mule contact anne...mybe itz d beginning of a new chapter..

Mm...rye kalini doesnt begin wit a gud start..ngn surprise dr papa je d only gud thing i guess... Other than dat,mak lak yg wat prangai..nta npe dr cmlm asyik nk cari psl ngn anne..Dkat sparuh hari cmlm anne gasak mnahan air mate.. Then awl pagi ag aftr subuh anne nk tolong die kat dapur...tp die lak wat anne cm tunggul.. Cpe yg xkcik ht.. 30min anne cube nk tolong..cube ajk bckp...tp die wat dunno je.. Anne terus mcuk bilik..ngn hrpn nk tido utk ilangkn rce mara..tp sebaliknye anne duk ngs pulak..nta pehal mate ni asyik nk berair je lately.. I hate crying cz it makes me feel weak...aftr ngs,msti bdn letih n rce lmah..bru kul 9pm..tp anne rce mate cgt pdih cam nk kne gam..tp nk nk tgk Vanilla Chocolate Raya punye psl...anne stay dpn tv.. 11pm anne mcuk bilik aftr cite VCR abs...m tgrak ht nk mrapu lam blog cndiri..(ni la hasilnye..).. Ncb baikla by 2pm mood mak da mule ok arini.. Alhamdulillah... (mak ni nta pape..raye2 pn nk emo..ncb baik x bterusan cmpi rye ke-2..lau x....nta la..)... Mm...esk nk ke Labis Segamat...umah tok busu.. Yeay! (duno y i always get excited bile nk g sane..tp bile da cmpi sane,d excitement gone..)..

Hm...k la..anne da xtau nk merapu ape..yg pntg anne rce bdn anne cgt cket rite now..hrp2 aftr tido ok la..mybe my BP low..cmlm pn check BP 109/65...99/58...102/63..quite low.. Well...till my fingers feel like dancing on this keyboard for new entry.. Salam Aidilfitri!!!!

LI's Over! Now It's Eid!

Finally...berakhir sudah LI anne di Taman Hutan Lagenda Gunung Ledang..pd 16Ogos.. 2bulan..but seems like itz not enuf for me.. I love being at Gunung Ledang.. Ade kt 'kayangan' (konon2)..cjuk je kt ctu..boss n staf yg cgt baik.. Cpnjg kt ledang...2kali da jejak kaki kt Puncak Gunung Ledang.. ^_~hppynye bile berada di puncak..1276m above d sea level..cjuk.. Sumenye cweet memories..cume satu je bad memory yg watkan bulu rome anne naik bile teringat.. Bukan kes nmpk han-ta-wau(hantu)..tp ni kes manusie yg cam hantu..=_=ish! bncinye bile ingt mamat cngal tu. Tiap kali ade inventori orkid,kene naik gunung ke kwsn yg org awm xley mcuk..hnye staf n li student je ley mcuk.. 5kali naik gunung..2 kali kene peluk ngn mamat xgune tu(staf2 yg xcke ngn die pggil die kure2).. xcdar dri tul..da ade bini n anak sorg pn ag nk peluk2 org.. Told my boss bout it mce hr terakhir LI..(16Ogos)..ape tindakan boss anne xtau la.. tp on 17ogos,pagi2 ag ade staf yg jge Chalet mcg n call anne gtau yg mamat senget kure2 tu dtg uma staf pgi2 n mara2..cje nk cari ksalahan kiteorg lak.. Weng pnye org! Laz day anne kt ctu anne simbah bonet kete kure2 tu ngn air ikan.. Lau anne tau la cmni...baik anne garitkan kete die...(nk pancitkn tayar cm x cmpi ht cz tkut die nk alek berbuke ngn fmly xcmpt..lau garitkn stil ley jln kete tu kn?)..Hmm..hrp2 la mamat tu diturunkan pgkat..biar kak kila yg naik..jd die xley buli kak kila ag..cian my kakak yg sorg tu..asyk kne ngn kure2 je cmpi akk tu ngs.. Dsr kure2 bongkak..tau la die byk ilmu(KONONYE)..lgsg xnk terime pendapat kiteorg yg sah2 blaja biology ni.. nk btulkn kesilapan die pn die sush nk terime.. Haih la..blagak mcm die yg paling perfect...padahal report yg die buat pn bahase mlayu tunggang langgang..=_=haish~ jns bhs pasar..not suitable for a report.. Ish..da la..wat cket ht je bile tringat.. da la bile anne cite kt parenz tntg mnde ni parenz anne mara anne lak cz xtegas bile diperlakukan cmtu. Ape deorg ingt anne cke mamat tu dakap n peluk anne??? Pehlizzzz~~ mcm nk tampar sepak terajang ade la..tp ape cgtla yg anne ley wat lau time naik tu xde org lain kecuali anne btige ngn k.nisa n nava n kure2 tu.. mamat tu clalu pisahkan anne ngn k.nisa n nava. Bile anne g kt port anne kne kire orkid pn mamat tu ikut..pdhl anne da pilih port yg jauh dr die. Da la tu..cngaje die bwk kiteorg lalu kt jln yg sush nk gerak tnpe berpegang tgn..btul2 amik ksempatan kure2 tu.. Lau ade org lain yg naik cme je die xley nk wat mcm2 cz anne akn mlarikan dri ikut org lain. Mm...enuf bout dat freaking jerk la.. Clain dr kes cngal ni..xde kes lain..juz kes misteri ckit tu ade la.. paling byk kes kt uma staf yg kiteorg dduk tu,barangan kiteorg clalu cgt brubah tmpt. Bygkan...bile anne da msk,barangan kering cam ikan bilis,pati,ajinomoto..dll...anne cke tgglkn kt ats frigde kt dapur tu... tp bile anne nk msk pd hr yg lain, barangan tu sume xde ats fridge tu ag..tp ade tersimpan kt lam beg kt bilik anne...x ke pelik tu?? xde org alihkan...cpe pulak yg alihkan? Then toilet yg kt belah blkg lak,ade ckalu tu anne mndi..aftr mndi,mkn..then g anta bju mcuk mesin.. Aftr dat anne mcuk cmule toilet tu..(x cmpi 2jam pn)..yg peliknye,time aftr anne mndi,baldi tu airnye tggl 1/3 je...tp bile anne mcuk ag ckali, sepenuh-penuh tidak air kt lam baldi tu..bile tnye ngn k.nisa n nava,deorg xde lak mcuk toilet tu..jz anne sorg je yg kai..(mmg anne je cke kai toilet tu cz lbh luas n baldi air die lbh bsr..besh ckit mndi..)..tp cane air ley pnuh? Misteri2....yg pntg da abs LI...
17Ogos shopping raye...letihnye~~~
Mm...itz 18Ogos now...bz preparing utk rye esk.. hari esok hari raye!! X cgke...kjap je poce da rye lak..x trce cgt suasananye..myb cz anne bz ber-LI..bile alek,cm xcmpt nk wat pape pn...tau2 da rye lak.. Tema tahun ni...ijau.. Aftr buke poce(laz day of Ramadhan)..g kipmart utk cari shawl ijau..hee~jmpe jgak akhirnye.. Well..pd sume yg mngenali diri ni..anne nk ucap SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRFI MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN.. Maafkan slh n slap anne..kekhilafan anne..halalkan cgalenye yg prnh dikongsi..thnx for everything.. Cmge Syawal kalini lbh baik.. InsyaAllah..